STORIES – For the last week I have been chatting with Mary and Samuel about the children staying here at Cheryls. In my office I have some photos on the wall of some of the kids. Each time Mary popped in the office last week we would chat about some of the kids I know. Each one had a story. Each story was in many ways hard to believe. When you see the child today it is hard to imagine that they went through such trauma and yet are so happy now. That is Cheryls Childrens Home story. Broken lives being cared for and healed. The stories of the children who actually live here are often about physical, sexual abuse from the home, parents who have died from AIDS, violence or just extreme poverty. There are some children who have seen their parents killed in political violence, some who have had one parent kill the other, some who have lost both parents and ended up with a grandmother who would beat the children badly. These are not happy stories, but they are real. It disappoints me when some organisations are against children’s homes. Most of these kids have been abused and suffered traumatic experiences, their homes are unsafe places. Here they are protected, cared for and given a future. The majority of children here are in foster care and many of these have also experienced horrific stories, but for them fortunately they have a guardian who can take care of them and through Cheryls they can be supported. The aim is always for a child, where possible, to be in a regular household, but for some that can’t be the case. For those kids that have been rejected, those kids are welcomed here with open arms and are part of this large family. This last week what struck me were the stories, so many...
DIRT – The quest for land seems to be the hot priority for many people in Nairobi. The city is bursting at the seems, flats popping up everywhere and as each new development goes up the question ‘where does the water come from to service the flats?’ seems to be ignored... just keep building building building. At one time people probably thought the streets of London were paved with gold, it seems that many feel Nairobi is paved with some precious jewel also. The truth is the streets are paved with dirt, the lack of rain is crippling the city and its just getting worse. The football pitch the kids play on for some of their matches just up the road is now pretty much sand. The Masaai bring in their cattle to the city centre to find anywhere for their skinny, dying cows. The other day on the way to work I had just passed Death Junction and moved to the next busy crossing, it was rush hour, and there a herder was driving is cattle across the dirt covered walk ways. A cow stumbles into the middle of the cross roads and for just a brief moment the cow becomes the priority for getting through the traffic, hey it even stopped a Matatu driver! As the city grows water will just become a bigger and bigger issue. In the UK we talk about the weather all the time, how it will be this day, it rains too much, we are cold. Here all the talk is about rain, when will it come. The word is that this year there will be an El Nino (spelling???), which means seriously heavy rains. Sounds good, but the truth is if it does come many people will drown in flash floods. It will be both a blessing and a curse. The dirt is so dry the water will just run over the top, clearing everything in its path. The trees have gone, no-one is planning for the future. But for now at least my clothes, my car, my computer, my bag, my skin... all covered in dirt (and I think there must be about 50 kgs of dirt in my lungs).
RALLY FOR ANY LADIES? – Ok so I have mentioned I keep meeting interesting people, this week I met a lady at David’s retirement village. She was hilarious and absolutely brilliant. A muzungu (white) lady, had broken hips and struggling to walk, but a wicked send of humour. We had sundowners (well basically drinks when the sun goes down, which is always between 6 – 7pm every day). Afterwards David pushed her back to her chalet in the wheelchair and she asked me to accompany them. She invited us in and their on the wall were 2 massive collages of pictures of this lady through the years driving rally cars around Africa. It was incredible, each picture obviously had a long story behind it, but clearly she was very brave and courageous. Thankfully her mind is still sharp, she seems to be quite cheeky and we had a very fun evening, but the last thing I would have guessed her to have been was a rally driver.
ROAD TRIPS – My biggest task here in Kenya is to help buy some land to build a secondary school, technical college, guest house, farming facilities, income generating projects and much more! So land is expensive.... too expensive. Last week we did a couple of road trips to see some areas. The first was on the other side of the Ngong hills, about 20kms from Cheryls. The last 8kms though are dirt track and take a while (was fun to do a bit of off roading in the 4x4). Its basically on the other side of the hills and well what can I say... there is nothing there. It was just masses and masses of land as far as the eye can see. A few little huts were dotted around here and there, but this was virgin land... and there was plenty of it. Interesting, too isolated maybe, good water supply, when will the road be tarmac’d??? Lots of questions. We met a masaai/kikuyu who was selling the land. He stood ther, must have been in his 50’s at least, worn trousers, walking stick, old jacket and this was his land to sell. He will make a fortune from it when he does sell and I just wondered what he would do with the money, will he actually even use it? A comparison would be for me to become a billionaire overnight. Interesting. But land is of extreme value and everyone wants it. The other road trip was out to Athi river, Kitengela and Kiserian. We were gone for about 6 hours.... it was a long road trip, but we did some research saw the areas. The crazy thing for a lot of the time we were driving past empty land... most of it bought though in small packets such as an acre, half an acre, quater of an acre. But what amazed me was there was nothing there!!!!! And the land is worth £10,000 an acre. The roads are being improved and everyone expects the land to be used, so they are buying it all up, but not doing anything with it, but thats just pushing the price up. Will the bubble burst? I don’t know, and in many ways I doubt it. But it means for us buying land is going to be a huge challenge. People think Africa is cheap... have they ever come to Nairobi?
WHAT NAME – So quite a few people have put in names for my car, some very good ones, some totally obscure???? But basically I’ll give you 1 more week and then I will announce the winner. So keep sending in your entries... sounds like I am going to give a prize out, but that might be tricky....hmmmm if you win I’ll give you a free tour of Nairobi in the big 4x4. So send them in, and winner announced next week.
THE MAMA’s – Just before coming to Kenya, me and some chums went to see Coldplay at Hampden park. Coldplay are my favourite band and it was a special night to say goodbye to some good friends who were with me. As we left we commented on how that will be the last time for a long time before I see such acts and go to a gig like that. Well in fact it was a really long time... a whole 4 weeks! This year Nairobi was the proud host of the MTV Africa Music Awards (MAMA’s). I had seen bill boards around the place advertising it and a friend of mine suggested we tried to get tickets. They were quite cheap for what it was, only about £18 (which for a gig is extremely cheap). I doubted there would be any left, but eventually we found one of the outlets were they were selling and we went. So we went to the MAMA’s on Saturday night. I tried my best to dress up and look cool.... I failed... but Clare who I was with looked glamorous as did many of the other people their. The night was full of the who’s who of Nairobi, but mainly Kenyans, which was great to see. It was an awesome night and I just couldn’t believe we were there. It was in a sports indoor arena, probably the only one of its kind in East Africa. We saw Wyclef Jean present and perform, Akon and a whole load of fantastic African artists. So if you have MTV, have look for it on MTV Bass channel I think and see if you can spot us. I think now I can safely say though, it will be long time before I go to another major gig....
LILIAN – On Saturday morning, praise the lord it was a public holiday. The roads were quiet. Mary and I headed down the Mombasa road, past Athi river to a place called Lukenya. We were going to Lukenya Girls High school for their annual prayer service for the Form 4’s who are about to take their finals. Lilian is about to take hers. She is 18, one of 4 children taken in to Cheryls after her father died and just before her mum sadly passed away. They were living in extremely bad conditions, in a room without any beds. Lilian has recently finished being head girl and is hoping to do nursing next year. She wants to serve and help others in Kenya. She is confident, funny and intelligent. She was so pleased to see us, she had no clue I was coming. The service last 4 hours.... i did struggle at times in the heat but made it through. As we sat there I saw all the different parents coming in with their familes to support the girls and in a way it only dawned on me then, we were their for Lilian, we were her support, we were her parents. Although I had not seen Lillian since our 2004 trip with church she remembered me and i felt honoured to be their to support her. I was the only Muzungu and well a lot of heads turned when we arrived, but for Mary, Lillian and me that didn’t matter. It was a great day, she showed us round the school, had some lunch and then we left. I will go and pick her up from school in November when she is finished. It was a very small gesture on my part, but a very special moment and a real privilege to be there.
LEARNING THE NOISES – So yesterday was a very sad day. I moved into my new house. I am thrilled to be able to use David’s dads house as my new home, it has some spare rooms which is great for guests and volunteers, it has some furniture which has made things much easier, David and Juliet have already got bills sorted etc for me to pay, its been amazing....BUT... I think all 3 of us have been enjoying spending time with each other these last few weeks, and I think we all felt a little sad when they left yesterday afternoon and I was then alone in the house. We were so sad about it that they are coming round for dinner tomorrow night and I’m going there on Wednesday night!!! LOL. But the house is good. Last night I locked up the house and went to my new bed. To be honest i hadn’t really unpacked so it was all a little strange, especially suddenly feeling alone. As the night went on I heard all the sounds of living back in the middle of a city, dogs barking, kids yelling, dogs screaming, cars, people talking, dogs really yelling and the strange noises of this beautiful old house. In many ways this house displays where the city is heading. Its on about 1 acre of land. At the back at the bottom of the garden there are some large apartment blocks, over looking the house, all around buildings are starting to come down, new apartments rising, WATER???? ANYONE???? ANSWERS???? One day this house which has been here for at least half a century will be gone. In a way the new apartments are a sign of economic growth, the creation of a larger middle class, which is great.... but the resources of the city are limited, at some point there will be no more water, no more electricity, and there is still a great deal of poverty, resulting in crime. I lock so many doors in the house, infact this will soon become a nightly routine. The house over the road, belonging to Mo was robbed the other week while she was in South Africa. Crime is on the up. But for now, I will have the fortunate opportunity of spending time in the last days of this house, before it too will be knocked down and flats, or offices built. This is now home.
PHOTOS – Lillian and THE MAMA’s posted below, check them out:
Monday, 12 October 2009
Monday, 5 October 2009
THE WORK STARTS HERE
HEIGH HO, HEIGH HO, HEIGH HO – so I’ve started work, one week done, chalk it off. I finally made my way to Cheryls on Monday morning, through the busy traffic to start my new job and new career really! Everyone has been so welcoming and arms were open wide ready to receive me. As with any new job, I think you always spend your first few days not really sure what to do, aware that all those around you have busy agenda’s for the day and you’re not wanting to become an extra burden. I spent most of the week chatting with Samuel, starting to meet some of the staff and start to add more pieces to my already part built jigsaw understanding of Cheryls. I am also getting used to a totally different working environment. I now have an office of my own, as opposed to working in an open plan office with at least 2 others. It takes a bit of getting used to, but at times the space is nice, but at times I leave the door open just to hear the other sounds from the home. Its weird in many ways we don’t see the kids much at the top end, they are all busy doing school, so during lunch breaks I have wondered down to see some of them and the rest of the staff. Earlier in the week they were shy, would always say hi, but there was always an element of curiosity in each of their eyes. Today though I headed down and they were busy helping move the teachers into their new staff room and many of them were chatting with me and little Pauline was being nice an cheeky which was FAB! Its taken a week, but I have realised I need to just jump straight in, don’t wait for work to come, everyone is so busy already, just go out there and get it, help out, roll up the sleeves and start singing, HEIGH HO, HEIGH HO....
BULL – This week, much of my time has been getting my wheels sorted for cruising on the city streets of Nairobi.... hmmmm... I say cruising I actually mean, crawling along the city streets of Nairobi as I make my long journey to work each day now in my new car. Ok for the girls the all important answer to the question you will ask: ITS RED, and for the boys the all important answer to your question: ITS A NISSAN TERRANO. Its a big thing with a massive BULL BAR on the front. I think I have managed somehow to pick up a bargain (although it has come with a few beaurocratic headaches, but more on that later). It has had low mileage and for the price I was figuring it must have something wrong with it, but its just had service and its all running smooth, so great! So on the one hand I’m sad I have join the masses of big fat muzungu 4x4 drivers..... sorry thats not right, I mean big fat 4x4 muzungu drivers (muzungu meaning white man). We move round the city streets, locked up in our big machines, windows up, doors lock, valuables hidden, driving from one place to the next, to the next, never getting out to walk oh yeah and checking we have locked our doors every 5 minutes. It makes me sad and often I find myself laughing at them until I suddenly remember I’ve become a fully fledged, signed up, bought the Tshirt member of the club. As much as I mock them and realise I’m one of them, I know actually in many ways its necessary. The BULL has taught me this week who ever has the big car with the big BULL rules the road. Since driving the TERRANO (oh yeah I need a name for her, my new car, she is burgundy red and is big and has a shiny bull bar, and well yes needs a name, any suggestions???? Facebook, or text etc....) anyways where was I? Hmmmm... oh yes, since driving her I have managed to get my way through traffic much easier. So although I have joined a club of which I am ashamed, I know it’s the right thing and I’m just that bit safer.
WINDOWS – So a quick word on driving. As the week had progressed I have become more comfortable driving in Nairobi (touch wood). As the traffic wizzes past at a junction I’m getting better at spotting the windows of opportunity to pull out. In the UK at a junction when you pull out you must make sure that there is a MASSIVE window of opportunity, you must never make someone else have to slow down etc. Ok so in Nairobi the windows pretty much don’t exist, if you wait as if you were in the UK in rush hour you would not move for about 1 hour (no exaggeration). Here you make your window.... or at least find the smallest, slightest, tiniest gap and then you go, if the other person has to slow down, so be it, if they have to stop (because you have forced them to) so be it, its the rule of the road, well actually there don’t seem to be many rules on the roads here. So at crossroads, there is no right of way, no first person there goes etc etc you just go when the window comes or when you make it come. The problem now is I’m spotting the windows and getting frustrated at other drivers infront of me who don’t take them.... road rage, the universal road language of the world!
CECIL – Once again I’ve had an interesting week of meeting new folks. One of the most interesting evenings was after watching a presentation of a trip to Mongolia at David’s work we went to the club they are members of, for dinner with a lady called Robyn. Her father is Eric Cecil, an incredible gentleman who is living in the retirement village where David works. He has had such an amazing history and really you have to read the book about him, yes that’s right he has biography written about him, not sure what its called, I’ll get a copy, but google his name and you will find it. We sat and had dinner with Robyn and her stories were fantastic and then we quizzed her about her own life which was also intriguing. Such a nice lady, such a fantastic family, I felt once again blessed by such an unusual night out. I know this is pretty rubbish blog entry as I have really told you nothing about it.... but seriously get the book and you will see!
SIBERIA – ok as I’ve just been talking about books its time I told you about what I am currently reading.... yes thats right for those of you who know me really well you will remember I don’t tend to read much... well I’m reading loads here, mainly because this book is awesome. “Cycling Home from Siberia” by ROB LILWALL. I went to uni with Rob, we were in a ceilidh band and he is just an awesome guy I have had the privilege of knowing. Sadly in post uni life I didn’t stay in touch much, but before I left the UK I had an email about his new book. You think I’m brave, well Rob went to Siberia with his bike and cycled home taking a number of years to do so. His book has just been published, you can get it from Amazon, Waterstones etc etc and it is FAB! I can’t put it down as the old cliché goes. I recommend this book to all, one of the best, fun and most interesting books I’ve read in ages. David and Juliet often find me chuckling to myself as I read another story of his incredible adventure!
SEEING RED – at some point in moving to Kenya I knew I would hit some red tape and Kenyan beaurocracy and on Friday it happened. I have to get a PIN number to buy things like cars, its all to do with tax registration etc, dull dull dull, so just let me skip some details that will bore you. So we went to get the PIN from a government building, he then said we had to finish getting it online... rats....off to find a internet cafe, wend to the building next door which had tiny little offices that help you get the PIN online, takes too long so we say we will come back. Back to the gov building to sort drivers licence (after 3 months my UK one won;t be valid). Filled in the paperwork, queued, find out need my residency permit first. Back to the other building to get the PIN, Got the PIN and head back to the gov building and queue to get my car registered over to me (still need a name for the car!!!). Guy behind the counter looks at the copy of the documents and with a big red pen puts a line through the copy of the ID card of the previous owner. “ITS A FAKE” he says boldly and sits back in his chair. WHAT!!!!!! I ask, I don’t understand, why do you think its a fake (we can barely hear each other through the glass). “This typing is wrong” he says pointing to her name. “Why do you think its fake?” i ask feeling totally confused and a little bit worried! He just points to the card and says its a fake. I question some more, I just don’t understand and eventually he says he will now keep the documents and not give them back. WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!! We push a bit more until he says we should talk to a supervisor. We head to another desk with a seriously confused look on my face and carrying 2 buckets of sweat in my hands.... I’m getting angry, upset and hot!!! RED RED RED RED! I see them talking in the back and eventually another guy comes through. “Hi, how are you today?” he says in a calm and welcoming voice. “I’m very well (am i????). How are you?”. “Good” he says. “Now here is the problem” he starts, as he points to the photocopy of the ID. “The name on the ID doesn’t match the name on the logbook. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH cher ching (thats the sound of the penny that proceeded to drop). The car belongs to Johns wife and of course the log book is in her maiden name and the ID card is newer in her married name. Now I get it!!!! Why didn’t the first guy just say that???? Hmmmmm problem, they now live in Canada? The nice gentlemen says “Look its no problem, just get them to see a lawyer, sign an avadavat and then send it over, that will do. Still a little tricky but at least we have a solution. Red tape...I think there will be more to come, just the tip of the iceberg.
PLUGGING THE DAM – I’ve discovered that living here will, in some ways, present more a of challenge than I first thought. On Thursday last week, when we were at The Club having dinner, I sat with my fillet steak on the table (courtesy of Robyn who was taking us out for dinner!!) with tears welling up in my eyes. That day I had started to learn more about the current needs at Cheryls. I felt like I had been hit by a train, emotions brewing all day. A girl called Deborah came to the office. She has finished secondary school and is trying to sort her next step. The oldest of 3, her father left when she was 7 years old, her mother can’t cope and provide so Cheryls has been supporting her. She is now 19 years old, the whole family live in a 1 room type thing in Kibera. She has done well at school and wants to do nursing at uni and hopefully transfer to do medicine and be a doctor. We talked about it all, perhaps she could get a scholarship to the UK or USA but the chances are slim? We talked about fee costs for a local uni, it may cost about £1,000 a year and that would pay for uni costs. As I sat eating my steak and really enjoying the time with Robyn and hearing about her father, in the back of my mind I felt incredibly guilty and upset. £1,000 per year, that’s nothing in the grand scheme of things, that money could help Deborah fulfil her dream, it would transform her life, her family’s life and would provide Kenya with another fully qualified female nurse or doctor serving the community. I am living in this Muzungu world, with a good car, good house, nice clothes, a rich lifestyle compared to most of the people I am surrounded by and working with. Yes I know I need the security (its part of the curse of the colour of my skin) and I need space and some comfort in order to do my job, but the guilt started to set in that day. How can I get this money for her and get her to uni? But it doesn’t stop there, we are short of money for food, because of the drought there is no spare food and very few donations of food. The electricity bills have risen by 45% even though its rationed 2 or 3 times a week, some of the school fees have not been paid, some overseas donors have not been able to fulfil commitments because of the world economy, the exchange rates have made it harder, some kids may get sent home from school, teachers and staff salaries have not been paid at Cheryls and the list goes on. For the first time I felt just part of the burden that Samuel has been carrying for many many years. I came home from work that day with a heavy heart and just wondering what to do. I could picture myself standing infront of a dam wall which has leaks, almost like a cartoon drawing. I put a finger in one hole to block it up, another appears so I put a finger in that one. Its not long before I have a finger in 10 ten holes and at the same time there is a pile of bricks laying at the side just waiting to build a fresh new dam wall that is permanent and strong and won’t have any holes. Where do I start? There are ways we can make sure our funding is continual and regular and we starting to put in plans on how to do that, I believe its possible, but getting there? With all those holes needing filling up? That’s the task I face, its the challenge I will meet each day and my conscience will indeed take a regular battering, and rightly so, I must be challenged, but i must too be sensible. I ate my fillet steak, it tasted perfect but I remembered my basic lunch at Cheryls. I live in 2 worlds. I will always live in 2 worlds. But when I can, I must bring them together, that is MY role, that’s my purpose here. Its a privilege, its a challenge and for all you blog readers out there: I can’t do it on my own, I only have 10 fingers! I need help plugging the holes and I need some people to come and build the new dam wall. Who’s with me?
BULL – This week, much of my time has been getting my wheels sorted for cruising on the city streets of Nairobi.... hmmmm... I say cruising I actually mean, crawling along the city streets of Nairobi as I make my long journey to work each day now in my new car. Ok for the girls the all important answer to the question you will ask: ITS RED, and for the boys the all important answer to your question: ITS A NISSAN TERRANO. Its a big thing with a massive BULL BAR on the front. I think I have managed somehow to pick up a bargain (although it has come with a few beaurocratic headaches, but more on that later). It has had low mileage and for the price I was figuring it must have something wrong with it, but its just had service and its all running smooth, so great! So on the one hand I’m sad I have join the masses of big fat muzungu 4x4 drivers..... sorry thats not right, I mean big fat 4x4 muzungu drivers (muzungu meaning white man). We move round the city streets, locked up in our big machines, windows up, doors lock, valuables hidden, driving from one place to the next, to the next, never getting out to walk oh yeah and checking we have locked our doors every 5 minutes. It makes me sad and often I find myself laughing at them until I suddenly remember I’ve become a fully fledged, signed up, bought the Tshirt member of the club. As much as I mock them and realise I’m one of them, I know actually in many ways its necessary. The BULL has taught me this week who ever has the big car with the big BULL rules the road. Since driving the TERRANO (oh yeah I need a name for her, my new car, she is burgundy red and is big and has a shiny bull bar, and well yes needs a name, any suggestions???? Facebook, or text etc....) anyways where was I? Hmmmm... oh yes, since driving her I have managed to get my way through traffic much easier. So although I have joined a club of which I am ashamed, I know it’s the right thing and I’m just that bit safer.
WINDOWS – So a quick word on driving. As the week had progressed I have become more comfortable driving in Nairobi (touch wood). As the traffic wizzes past at a junction I’m getting better at spotting the windows of opportunity to pull out. In the UK at a junction when you pull out you must make sure that there is a MASSIVE window of opportunity, you must never make someone else have to slow down etc. Ok so in Nairobi the windows pretty much don’t exist, if you wait as if you were in the UK in rush hour you would not move for about 1 hour (no exaggeration). Here you make your window.... or at least find the smallest, slightest, tiniest gap and then you go, if the other person has to slow down, so be it, if they have to stop (because you have forced them to) so be it, its the rule of the road, well actually there don’t seem to be many rules on the roads here. So at crossroads, there is no right of way, no first person there goes etc etc you just go when the window comes or when you make it come. The problem now is I’m spotting the windows and getting frustrated at other drivers infront of me who don’t take them.... road rage, the universal road language of the world!
CECIL – Once again I’ve had an interesting week of meeting new folks. One of the most interesting evenings was after watching a presentation of a trip to Mongolia at David’s work we went to the club they are members of, for dinner with a lady called Robyn. Her father is Eric Cecil, an incredible gentleman who is living in the retirement village where David works. He has had such an amazing history and really you have to read the book about him, yes that’s right he has biography written about him, not sure what its called, I’ll get a copy, but google his name and you will find it. We sat and had dinner with Robyn and her stories were fantastic and then we quizzed her about her own life which was also intriguing. Such a nice lady, such a fantastic family, I felt once again blessed by such an unusual night out. I know this is pretty rubbish blog entry as I have really told you nothing about it.... but seriously get the book and you will see!
SIBERIA – ok as I’ve just been talking about books its time I told you about what I am currently reading.... yes thats right for those of you who know me really well you will remember I don’t tend to read much... well I’m reading loads here, mainly because this book is awesome. “Cycling Home from Siberia” by ROB LILWALL. I went to uni with Rob, we were in a ceilidh band and he is just an awesome guy I have had the privilege of knowing. Sadly in post uni life I didn’t stay in touch much, but before I left the UK I had an email about his new book. You think I’m brave, well Rob went to Siberia with his bike and cycled home taking a number of years to do so. His book has just been published, you can get it from Amazon, Waterstones etc etc and it is FAB! I can’t put it down as the old cliché goes. I recommend this book to all, one of the best, fun and most interesting books I’ve read in ages. David and Juliet often find me chuckling to myself as I read another story of his incredible adventure!
SEEING RED – at some point in moving to Kenya I knew I would hit some red tape and Kenyan beaurocracy and on Friday it happened. I have to get a PIN number to buy things like cars, its all to do with tax registration etc, dull dull dull, so just let me skip some details that will bore you. So we went to get the PIN from a government building, he then said we had to finish getting it online... rats....off to find a internet cafe, wend to the building next door which had tiny little offices that help you get the PIN online, takes too long so we say we will come back. Back to the gov building to sort drivers licence (after 3 months my UK one won;t be valid). Filled in the paperwork, queued, find out need my residency permit first. Back to the other building to get the PIN, Got the PIN and head back to the gov building and queue to get my car registered over to me (still need a name for the car!!!). Guy behind the counter looks at the copy of the documents and with a big red pen puts a line through the copy of the ID card of the previous owner. “ITS A FAKE” he says boldly and sits back in his chair. WHAT!!!!!! I ask, I don’t understand, why do you think its a fake (we can barely hear each other through the glass). “This typing is wrong” he says pointing to her name. “Why do you think its fake?” i ask feeling totally confused and a little bit worried! He just points to the card and says its a fake. I question some more, I just don’t understand and eventually he says he will now keep the documents and not give them back. WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!! We push a bit more until he says we should talk to a supervisor. We head to another desk with a seriously confused look on my face and carrying 2 buckets of sweat in my hands.... I’m getting angry, upset and hot!!! RED RED RED RED! I see them talking in the back and eventually another guy comes through. “Hi, how are you today?” he says in a calm and welcoming voice. “I’m very well (am i????). How are you?”. “Good” he says. “Now here is the problem” he starts, as he points to the photocopy of the ID. “The name on the ID doesn’t match the name on the logbook. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH cher ching (thats the sound of the penny that proceeded to drop). The car belongs to Johns wife and of course the log book is in her maiden name and the ID card is newer in her married name. Now I get it!!!! Why didn’t the first guy just say that???? Hmmmmm problem, they now live in Canada? The nice gentlemen says “Look its no problem, just get them to see a lawyer, sign an avadavat and then send it over, that will do. Still a little tricky but at least we have a solution. Red tape...I think there will be more to come, just the tip of the iceberg.
PLUGGING THE DAM – I’ve discovered that living here will, in some ways, present more a of challenge than I first thought. On Thursday last week, when we were at The Club having dinner, I sat with my fillet steak on the table (courtesy of Robyn who was taking us out for dinner!!) with tears welling up in my eyes. That day I had started to learn more about the current needs at Cheryls. I felt like I had been hit by a train, emotions brewing all day. A girl called Deborah came to the office. She has finished secondary school and is trying to sort her next step. The oldest of 3, her father left when she was 7 years old, her mother can’t cope and provide so Cheryls has been supporting her. She is now 19 years old, the whole family live in a 1 room type thing in Kibera. She has done well at school and wants to do nursing at uni and hopefully transfer to do medicine and be a doctor. We talked about it all, perhaps she could get a scholarship to the UK or USA but the chances are slim? We talked about fee costs for a local uni, it may cost about £1,000 a year and that would pay for uni costs. As I sat eating my steak and really enjoying the time with Robyn and hearing about her father, in the back of my mind I felt incredibly guilty and upset. £1,000 per year, that’s nothing in the grand scheme of things, that money could help Deborah fulfil her dream, it would transform her life, her family’s life and would provide Kenya with another fully qualified female nurse or doctor serving the community. I am living in this Muzungu world, with a good car, good house, nice clothes, a rich lifestyle compared to most of the people I am surrounded by and working with. Yes I know I need the security (its part of the curse of the colour of my skin) and I need space and some comfort in order to do my job, but the guilt started to set in that day. How can I get this money for her and get her to uni? But it doesn’t stop there, we are short of money for food, because of the drought there is no spare food and very few donations of food. The electricity bills have risen by 45% even though its rationed 2 or 3 times a week, some of the school fees have not been paid, some overseas donors have not been able to fulfil commitments because of the world economy, the exchange rates have made it harder, some kids may get sent home from school, teachers and staff salaries have not been paid at Cheryls and the list goes on. For the first time I felt just part of the burden that Samuel has been carrying for many many years. I came home from work that day with a heavy heart and just wondering what to do. I could picture myself standing infront of a dam wall which has leaks, almost like a cartoon drawing. I put a finger in one hole to block it up, another appears so I put a finger in that one. Its not long before I have a finger in 10 ten holes and at the same time there is a pile of bricks laying at the side just waiting to build a fresh new dam wall that is permanent and strong and won’t have any holes. Where do I start? There are ways we can make sure our funding is continual and regular and we starting to put in plans on how to do that, I believe its possible, but getting there? With all those holes needing filling up? That’s the task I face, its the challenge I will meet each day and my conscience will indeed take a regular battering, and rightly so, I must be challenged, but i must too be sensible. I ate my fillet steak, it tasted perfect but I remembered my basic lunch at Cheryls. I live in 2 worlds. I will always live in 2 worlds. But when I can, I must bring them together, that is MY role, that’s my purpose here. Its a privilege, its a challenge and for all you blog readers out there: I can’t do it on my own, I only have 10 fingers! I need help plugging the holes and I need some people to come and build the new dam wall. Who’s with me?
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Thank you for the very quick and MASSIVE response to the request below... Im very pleased to say we managed to get the full funding for this little trip. So thanks to everyone for making it happen!! It would have been so sad for the kids to have had to have the day off for the show but not been able to go! So big Thank YOU!!!
For regular blog news just scroll down a bit and you will find it!
For regular blog news just scroll down a bit and you will find it!
URGENT REQUEST
On Friday 2nd October all the primary schools in Nairobi have the day off, the reason for this is that there is a national trade and agricultural show at the showground in Nairobi and all the primary kids in Naiorbi go if they can afford it. The show ground is literally just around the corner, 10 mins walk of the childrens home and in the past they sometimes have been able to go if someone donates the money. The cost per child is about £1, which is not very much. To take all the children who are resident in the home and some staff to look after them it would cost £80 to take them to the show. I am putting up this post to see if anyone would like to donate the cost of the show to make it possible for the kids on Friday to go. If you would be willing to cover the cost please email me ASAP: kjbkenya@hotmail.co.uk and we can arrange payment etc.
thanks for reading this.
Kieren
thanks for reading this.
Kieren
Saturday, 26 September 2009
WEEK ONE
IN YOUR OWN TIME – After the dramas of arriving here on Sunday and the extraordinary cremation of David’s dad, this week has mainly been a time of adjusting and preparing myself for the work ahead at Cheryls. I popped in on Monday to say hi to Samuel and see what the plan was, hoping that I would infact be given chance to rest after the long journey and also busy time leading up to the move. David and Juliet had encouraged me not to start work until the following week. I wasn’t sure about this, but I did know in my heart some time off would be good. The temptation is to rush in and get cracking, but actually I’m going to be here for a long time, and as the great leader Bill Hybels has said, ‘Pace yourself for the long haul’. Good advice! So a brief catch up with Samuel and we agreed I would start on Monday. This also has given me chance to focus on housing, car, etc etc etc. I managed to have a quick look around Cheryls though, see the progress on the current building work, and also this gave Juliet a chance to see the project. Need some office furniture for my office (hmmmmm that will be wierd my own little room, with no other colleagues around to have some banter with).
HOME SWEET HOME – The plan originally was for me to look at some houses on the Monday, but throughout the busy weekend David had to start thinking about what to do with his father’s house, now he had passed away. In many ways this decision seems to have happened all so fast, and I wasn;t sure if he would really want to go ahead with it, but as the week as progressed I think we have all come to realise how amazing God’s timing is and right this decision is. So the plan is I will move into David’s dad’s house which is near the Ya Ya centre for those who know Nairobi. Not too far from Cheryls, bit more in the city, but shouldn’t be too bad. For those who have eaten at the Italian restaurant OSTERIA, its literally just round the corner. David will eventually sell the house in the next 6 – 12 months, but at least this get me started. There is another guest cottage on the plot, so I will have neighbours and there is all the security staff etc needed. The house needs some work done to it, so the painters etc are in over the next 7 – 10 days working on it and hopefully I can move in then. The house has 3 bedrooms, so housing volunteers will not be a problem, there is a garden and i can use a lot of the furniture already there, just need to pick up a few new items such as cooker, double bed and fridge. David and Juliet have been stars by moving so fast on this, but they are happy, they will have a friend staying there which means they can come round any time, this house has been in David’s family for I think well over 40 years. It is fantastic how this has worked out.
DODGEMS – Wow, driving in Nairobi is CRAZZZZZY! This has been the thing I have been most nervous about. But the other night Juliet asked me to drive, which was great, she was forcing me to get on the saddle and just have a go. It is difficult and there are some seriously tricky places to drive, joining the main highway is a pure adrenaline rush in itself, who needs drugs or extreme sports, just drive in Nairobi!! The other great bit I have to drive through is ‘Death Junction’, you can figure out for yourself why its called that. It is just a small cross roads, but basically its everyman for himself. The good news is I should hopefully collect a car soon, at the start of the week which I purchased from a Canadian couple who have left Kenya. The car is a Nissan terrano, it has low mileage for its age, which is why David has suggested it. I have never bought a car before that I haven;t even seen. I’ll use it for a bit and see how it goes, it maybe that after a while I trade it in and pick up something else, but at least it gets me started. Really hope its reliable!!!
HOW MANY COUNTRIES? – The great thing about David and Juliet is that they know lots of people, and this week has been particularly busy for them seeing friends etc, especially talking about David’s dad etc. I have met so many people, almost every night and it has been both great and strange. I have realised living in Nairobi I will be mixing almost across the full range of society, from the poorest in the slums, to hard working Kenyans, to middle class Kenyans, to NGO workers and volunteers, to middle class muzungu’s (Whites) to the embassy workers and rich muzungu’s. Its strange, we went to an Ethopian restaurant the other night, a whole new experience in itself (raw mince beef?) and there I was sat next to a guy called Mario who is the security advisor for Save the Children, he goes into the hell holes and checks out if it safe to send people, places like Somalia, Darfur etc... “I work in about 22 countries at the moment” and then across the table the Australian girl pipes up “well I work currently in 32 countries, but currently I’m covering all of Africa until we fill the other staff position”. Hmmmmmmmm. This girl works at the Australian embassy, but as there are only 2 in Africa, she covers a big area. So the comparisons start between the two and eventually the question is asked that I am now expecting and dreading: “Kieren, what do you do?”. Small fries.....
CONNECTIONS – Coming to work at Cheryls I always expected I would be targeting help from overseas, what didn’t occur to me was that I would end up being connected with significant and rich muzungus in Nairobi. Almost every person I have met this week is very interested in Cheryls and wants to get involved in some way, whether its bringing a group of teenagers from the ISK school to do some voluntary work, or people having friends from overseas pop over and help, or a, Ethopian Womens Charity group doing a fundraiser for us to help out as well as getting help from the local German school (that was David’s hairdress, yes thats right and Ethopian lady married to a German). It has been fantastic. So as my ‘week off’ progessed I actually managed to do some significant work and make connections. Trust is a big factor when it comes to charity work, there are many scams, many dodgy projects, and I now realise that simply the colour of my skin brings some credibility to Cheryls, which in many ways is totally wrong, but lets use it and make the most of it!
PEACE – It has been a hectic and stressful week, particularly for David and Juliet. It has been great to be able to support David through this difficult time, but I know I have found it draining at times and I know he has. Having to tell everyone, repeat the same story over and over again, recounting the cremation and reminiscing. We cleared out David’s house on Thursday and that was hard. So this weekend we have all come up to Naivasha for a rest. Its about 2 hours from Nairobi and we are staying in David and Juliets friends house. It is like a mansion!!!! Beautiful. As we arrived last night we sat on the verandah and watched the giraffes, dick dicks, hippos, impalas all in the garden area and drinking out of the water hole just a few feet away. It was perfect after a vusy week. This morning we walked down to the lake at 6:30am, the colours were amazing and we saw plenty of flamingos and Zebras. I think we all needed this time and it is so precious. You really appreciate how fortunate we are to be in such an amazing place. BUT the work starts on Monday and as I try to relax today I am aware of what lies ahead. I do feel anxious at times, nervous, full of questions. How will I fit in with the staff, what will my working week look like, where do I start there is so much to do, will I manage to battle my way across from David and Juliets house on the other side of town without coming a cropper at Death junction.....hmmmmm, relax.... relax.....
HOME SWEET HOME – The plan originally was for me to look at some houses on the Monday, but throughout the busy weekend David had to start thinking about what to do with his father’s house, now he had passed away. In many ways this decision seems to have happened all so fast, and I wasn;t sure if he would really want to go ahead with it, but as the week as progressed I think we have all come to realise how amazing God’s timing is and right this decision is. So the plan is I will move into David’s dad’s house which is near the Ya Ya centre for those who know Nairobi. Not too far from Cheryls, bit more in the city, but shouldn’t be too bad. For those who have eaten at the Italian restaurant OSTERIA, its literally just round the corner. David will eventually sell the house in the next 6 – 12 months, but at least this get me started. There is another guest cottage on the plot, so I will have neighbours and there is all the security staff etc needed. The house needs some work done to it, so the painters etc are in over the next 7 – 10 days working on it and hopefully I can move in then. The house has 3 bedrooms, so housing volunteers will not be a problem, there is a garden and i can use a lot of the furniture already there, just need to pick up a few new items such as cooker, double bed and fridge. David and Juliet have been stars by moving so fast on this, but they are happy, they will have a friend staying there which means they can come round any time, this house has been in David’s family for I think well over 40 years. It is fantastic how this has worked out.
DODGEMS – Wow, driving in Nairobi is CRAZZZZZY! This has been the thing I have been most nervous about. But the other night Juliet asked me to drive, which was great, she was forcing me to get on the saddle and just have a go. It is difficult and there are some seriously tricky places to drive, joining the main highway is a pure adrenaline rush in itself, who needs drugs or extreme sports, just drive in Nairobi!! The other great bit I have to drive through is ‘Death Junction’, you can figure out for yourself why its called that. It is just a small cross roads, but basically its everyman for himself. The good news is I should hopefully collect a car soon, at the start of the week which I purchased from a Canadian couple who have left Kenya. The car is a Nissan terrano, it has low mileage for its age, which is why David has suggested it. I have never bought a car before that I haven;t even seen. I’ll use it for a bit and see how it goes, it maybe that after a while I trade it in and pick up something else, but at least it gets me started. Really hope its reliable!!!
HOW MANY COUNTRIES? – The great thing about David and Juliet is that they know lots of people, and this week has been particularly busy for them seeing friends etc, especially talking about David’s dad etc. I have met so many people, almost every night and it has been both great and strange. I have realised living in Nairobi I will be mixing almost across the full range of society, from the poorest in the slums, to hard working Kenyans, to middle class Kenyans, to NGO workers and volunteers, to middle class muzungu’s (Whites) to the embassy workers and rich muzungu’s. Its strange, we went to an Ethopian restaurant the other night, a whole new experience in itself (raw mince beef?) and there I was sat next to a guy called Mario who is the security advisor for Save the Children, he goes into the hell holes and checks out if it safe to send people, places like Somalia, Darfur etc... “I work in about 22 countries at the moment” and then across the table the Australian girl pipes up “well I work currently in 32 countries, but currently I’m covering all of Africa until we fill the other staff position”. Hmmmmmmmm. This girl works at the Australian embassy, but as there are only 2 in Africa, she covers a big area. So the comparisons start between the two and eventually the question is asked that I am now expecting and dreading: “Kieren, what do you do?”. Small fries.....
CONNECTIONS – Coming to work at Cheryls I always expected I would be targeting help from overseas, what didn’t occur to me was that I would end up being connected with significant and rich muzungus in Nairobi. Almost every person I have met this week is very interested in Cheryls and wants to get involved in some way, whether its bringing a group of teenagers from the ISK school to do some voluntary work, or people having friends from overseas pop over and help, or a, Ethopian Womens Charity group doing a fundraiser for us to help out as well as getting help from the local German school (that was David’s hairdress, yes thats right and Ethopian lady married to a German). It has been fantastic. So as my ‘week off’ progessed I actually managed to do some significant work and make connections. Trust is a big factor when it comes to charity work, there are many scams, many dodgy projects, and I now realise that simply the colour of my skin brings some credibility to Cheryls, which in many ways is totally wrong, but lets use it and make the most of it!
PEACE – It has been a hectic and stressful week, particularly for David and Juliet. It has been great to be able to support David through this difficult time, but I know I have found it draining at times and I know he has. Having to tell everyone, repeat the same story over and over again, recounting the cremation and reminiscing. We cleared out David’s house on Thursday and that was hard. So this weekend we have all come up to Naivasha for a rest. Its about 2 hours from Nairobi and we are staying in David and Juliets friends house. It is like a mansion!!!! Beautiful. As we arrived last night we sat on the verandah and watched the giraffes, dick dicks, hippos, impalas all in the garden area and drinking out of the water hole just a few feet away. It was perfect after a vusy week. This morning we walked down to the lake at 6:30am, the colours were amazing and we saw plenty of flamingos and Zebras. I think we all needed this time and it is so precious. You really appreciate how fortunate we are to be in such an amazing place. BUT the work starts on Monday and as I try to relax today I am aware of what lies ahead. I do feel anxious at times, nervous, full of questions. How will I fit in with the staff, what will my working week look like, where do I start there is so much to do, will I manage to battle my way across from David and Juliets house on the other side of town without coming a cropper at Death junction.....hmmmmm, relax.... relax.....
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Interrupting Life and Death
There is a phrase that I have often heard and used myself in fact on a number of occasions. Its goes like this “My eyes were too big for my stomach”. This is the usual thing said after you have ordered too much food at a restaurant, or in my case cooked a big curry and put far too much on my plate I have struggled to finish it. Well on Friday night I came up with a new phrase which is quite similar: “My eyes were too big for my suitcases”. On Friday I spent the day sorting through my stuff trying to work out what to take with me to Kenya, placing each item in my parents bedroom, helping me to separate things out a bit, and well lets just say that pile got bigger and bigger and bigger. Finally at about 10pm when I got chance to actually start filling my luggage with all these things I soon began to realise a new pile was going to form just outside my parents bedroom. This pile being the ‘Just not enough space for’ pile.
Over the last few weeks I have been travelling around the UK, saying hi and goodbye to friends and family, trying to pick up various bits and pieces I will need for my work in Kenya and still finishing off work from church in Edinburgh. It has been a busy time, and the stress just caught up to me too much on Friday, with a pounding headache and sick feeling as I struggled to fit everything in my bag and as I began to anticipate what lay ahead.
So Saturday a long drive to London…still no residency permit, no house, no car, but hey I had a plane ticket and lots of people praying for me! The last time I sat in Heathrow I had a large group of teenagers with me I was taking to Kenya on a trip, that was only 2 months ago. This time I sat alone realising this time I was leaving and it was going to be a long time before I would be coming back. It is strange how the mind works. I have been waiting for about 12 months to take up this role in Kenya and it has really been a long goodbye to everyone over the last 6 months. However it has only really hit me ion the brief few seconds of hugging someone goodbye, that recognition that yes, this truly is it. Each time everything always felt normal visiting folks, until that embrace and it was like a sudden wave of emotion would hit me and I would struggle to force out any words in fear of balling my eyes out. In these moments I finally understood why this was going to be hard. It has been exciting and awesome preparing for this and I really felt ready. People would comment how brave they thought I was and how hard it must be. I would laugh it off and just thing it was normal, this was the plan, this has always been the plan in some way, this is right, doesn’t feel that hard. Well I have discovered, no its not hard, not until you actually have to say goodbye.
So long flight, usual gig, plane food, a movie, lights out and the pointless attempt at trying to get a few hours sleep. Hmmmmmm, no chance of sleep! So earphones in and some music to help me relax, Wagner at about 40,000 feet, AWESOME!
Landing in Nairobi, my heart started to pound more and more, actually that’s not quite true I think the pounding actually begun about an hour before we landed! With no residency permit yet I was relying on getting into Kenya on a 3 month short term visa. This is what you can get at the airport, but there is always the chance they could say no, especially if it conflicted with the residency application. I had filled in my forms already, got off the plane and stood in the queue. It was busy. The girl behind my desk looked in a bad mood, as other passport control officials would greet the visitors with a ‘good morning’ or a ‘how are you’ my girl just looked tired, grumpy and said nothing to no-one. This wasn’t looking good as often these things come down to the mood of the person on the day. All I could hope for was that her mind was on something else or that she was just too busy to care. I think in the end it was the latter. She barely looked at my forms, stamped everything and there I was, finally after all that stress, officially in Kenya (for at least 3 months anyway).
How can I keep this brief? The first day was incredible, and well if you getting bored already at this point all I can suggest is hang in there because this first day has to be the strangest day in my entire life, and there is no exaggeration there!
The plan was to stay with my friends David and Juliet. I have known them for many years and David was to pick me up at the airport. However on the previous day I had found out his father was seriously ill in hospital and it wasn’t looking good. So David arrange for a driver to pick me up. Francis was not at the airport, so texted David and he let me know Francis was going to be late. We met up and I asked how David and his father were, Francis did not know. We drove through Nairobi right to the other side, got to the house and there was no-one there. David’s father had died literally at the same time the wheels of my plane were touching down in Nairobi. It was so sad and David and Juliet spent a few hours at the hospital dealing with paperwork etc.
While waiting for them, I unpacked a couple of things, had some breakfast and then they returned home. It was strange, I had such excitement for being in Kenya but sorrow overtook these feelings and it was hard for all of us really to know how to react and feel. I was worried about being in the way or another burden on David and Juliet, but they are such generous people and even in a time of real tragedy they welcomed me with open arms and helped me feel at home.
The day went on, David was making arrangements on the phone for the cremation etc. A Hindu friend of his was going to help organise it and David had been thinking for quite a while that a Hindu style cremation would be just the right thing for his dad. As it turned out his friend wanted it to be done straight away, literally that day!!! So we had lunch, I showered and smartened up and we headed to the hospital to pick up his dad.
I have been to funerals before but I have never seen a dead body and I have always wondered how I would react if I ever did. Things were very rough and ready and I had to help David in the morgue collect his father onto this tray, he was wrapped up in a sheet, but this was pulled away so that David could be reassured we were taking the right person. I was amazed at how strong David was and how natural it all seemed. We wheeled the body out to a specially designed van and slide the tray in the back. We then climbed in and sat around David’s dad as we journeyed through the Nairobi streets, bumping around laughing, chatting and feeling sorrow all at the same time.
We arrived at the Hindu temple and I soon began to realise that the cremation was going to be open, not behind a curtain hidden away, but so that we could all watch. It was a quite place, nothing special in many ways, just a few tin sheds that were very tall and supported by the old railway tracks that many of the Asians would have been using to lay the railroad through Africa earlier in the last century. This sheds were very old. There were 3 iron platforms in one shed and one of these had firewood and shavings underneath and on top. The body was placed on it and David’s dad then had large pieces of wood placed around his body very carefully and over the top. You could still see is body in the shroud through the wood but he was really covered all round. At this point the tradition is to pour Ghee over the body, which is an ingredient or kind of butter fat that is used in Indian style cooking. Each of us in turn took the large ladle and poured some over the body and wood. David chose some music to play on a CD player, some choral music. He bravely said a few words and then friends followed, with Gladys reading from the bible and then some of the carers who had been looking after David’s dad in the last few months sang a song in Swahili. It was all so beautiful and special.
At this point David and one of the helpers was shown how to light the fire and they did so. It quickly took off and we moved further back as the flames grew higher. We stood in silence watching as the body was cremated right before out eyes. We moved round the corner a bit as the heat became too intense and then eventually came back to David’s house for some food. It had been a long day. I needed some sleep, having been awake for about 36 hours. After a nap I got up and found that it was just Juliet, David and myself left in the house. We reflected on the day and how it all went. For the Kenyan staff they had been more surprised by the cremation than me, for in Kenya everyone is buried, no one is cremated, at least I was used to the concept.
We talked for a while, about the funeral, how it had all happened so fast, what a crazy day it had been but also talked about my future and living here in Kenya. Although I had felt I could have just been in the way during this difficult day, Juliet has said on a number of times it had been good I was around, to help distract a bit from what was going on. On reflection myself I think she was right.
There is so much more to say, and really I must talk about the last couple of days and news about whats happening here in Kenya, the job, house car etc, but really after such an eventful first day, the only important thing is that I was very blessed to have been part of a remarkable occasion, with such a generous and loving couple and witnessing a son work so hard to do the right thing for his father in his last few days. I am sure there will be many more new experiences in the future, maybe not like this one, but I was truly blessed to witness such a beautiful ceremony.
I’ll update more in a couple of days, but I think for now that’s it. In the future the messages won’t be this long, but in some ways I feel I needed to write this down and share what happened.
Over the last few weeks I have been travelling around the UK, saying hi and goodbye to friends and family, trying to pick up various bits and pieces I will need for my work in Kenya and still finishing off work from church in Edinburgh. It has been a busy time, and the stress just caught up to me too much on Friday, with a pounding headache and sick feeling as I struggled to fit everything in my bag and as I began to anticipate what lay ahead.
So Saturday a long drive to London…still no residency permit, no house, no car, but hey I had a plane ticket and lots of people praying for me! The last time I sat in Heathrow I had a large group of teenagers with me I was taking to Kenya on a trip, that was only 2 months ago. This time I sat alone realising this time I was leaving and it was going to be a long time before I would be coming back. It is strange how the mind works. I have been waiting for about 12 months to take up this role in Kenya and it has really been a long goodbye to everyone over the last 6 months. However it has only really hit me ion the brief few seconds of hugging someone goodbye, that recognition that yes, this truly is it. Each time everything always felt normal visiting folks, until that embrace and it was like a sudden wave of emotion would hit me and I would struggle to force out any words in fear of balling my eyes out. In these moments I finally understood why this was going to be hard. It has been exciting and awesome preparing for this and I really felt ready. People would comment how brave they thought I was and how hard it must be. I would laugh it off and just thing it was normal, this was the plan, this has always been the plan in some way, this is right, doesn’t feel that hard. Well I have discovered, no its not hard, not until you actually have to say goodbye.
So long flight, usual gig, plane food, a movie, lights out and the pointless attempt at trying to get a few hours sleep. Hmmmmmm, no chance of sleep! So earphones in and some music to help me relax, Wagner at about 40,000 feet, AWESOME!
Landing in Nairobi, my heart started to pound more and more, actually that’s not quite true I think the pounding actually begun about an hour before we landed! With no residency permit yet I was relying on getting into Kenya on a 3 month short term visa. This is what you can get at the airport, but there is always the chance they could say no, especially if it conflicted with the residency application. I had filled in my forms already, got off the plane and stood in the queue. It was busy. The girl behind my desk looked in a bad mood, as other passport control officials would greet the visitors with a ‘good morning’ or a ‘how are you’ my girl just looked tired, grumpy and said nothing to no-one. This wasn’t looking good as often these things come down to the mood of the person on the day. All I could hope for was that her mind was on something else or that she was just too busy to care. I think in the end it was the latter. She barely looked at my forms, stamped everything and there I was, finally after all that stress, officially in Kenya (for at least 3 months anyway).
How can I keep this brief? The first day was incredible, and well if you getting bored already at this point all I can suggest is hang in there because this first day has to be the strangest day in my entire life, and there is no exaggeration there!
The plan was to stay with my friends David and Juliet. I have known them for many years and David was to pick me up at the airport. However on the previous day I had found out his father was seriously ill in hospital and it wasn’t looking good. So David arrange for a driver to pick me up. Francis was not at the airport, so texted David and he let me know Francis was going to be late. We met up and I asked how David and his father were, Francis did not know. We drove through Nairobi right to the other side, got to the house and there was no-one there. David’s father had died literally at the same time the wheels of my plane were touching down in Nairobi. It was so sad and David and Juliet spent a few hours at the hospital dealing with paperwork etc.
While waiting for them, I unpacked a couple of things, had some breakfast and then they returned home. It was strange, I had such excitement for being in Kenya but sorrow overtook these feelings and it was hard for all of us really to know how to react and feel. I was worried about being in the way or another burden on David and Juliet, but they are such generous people and even in a time of real tragedy they welcomed me with open arms and helped me feel at home.
The day went on, David was making arrangements on the phone for the cremation etc. A Hindu friend of his was going to help organise it and David had been thinking for quite a while that a Hindu style cremation would be just the right thing for his dad. As it turned out his friend wanted it to be done straight away, literally that day!!! So we had lunch, I showered and smartened up and we headed to the hospital to pick up his dad.
I have been to funerals before but I have never seen a dead body and I have always wondered how I would react if I ever did. Things were very rough and ready and I had to help David in the morgue collect his father onto this tray, he was wrapped up in a sheet, but this was pulled away so that David could be reassured we were taking the right person. I was amazed at how strong David was and how natural it all seemed. We wheeled the body out to a specially designed van and slide the tray in the back. We then climbed in and sat around David’s dad as we journeyed through the Nairobi streets, bumping around laughing, chatting and feeling sorrow all at the same time.
We arrived at the Hindu temple and I soon began to realise that the cremation was going to be open, not behind a curtain hidden away, but so that we could all watch. It was a quite place, nothing special in many ways, just a few tin sheds that were very tall and supported by the old railway tracks that many of the Asians would have been using to lay the railroad through Africa earlier in the last century. This sheds were very old. There were 3 iron platforms in one shed and one of these had firewood and shavings underneath and on top. The body was placed on it and David’s dad then had large pieces of wood placed around his body very carefully and over the top. You could still see is body in the shroud through the wood but he was really covered all round. At this point the tradition is to pour Ghee over the body, which is an ingredient or kind of butter fat that is used in Indian style cooking. Each of us in turn took the large ladle and poured some over the body and wood. David chose some music to play on a CD player, some choral music. He bravely said a few words and then friends followed, with Gladys reading from the bible and then some of the carers who had been looking after David’s dad in the last few months sang a song in Swahili. It was all so beautiful and special.
At this point David and one of the helpers was shown how to light the fire and they did so. It quickly took off and we moved further back as the flames grew higher. We stood in silence watching as the body was cremated right before out eyes. We moved round the corner a bit as the heat became too intense and then eventually came back to David’s house for some food. It had been a long day. I needed some sleep, having been awake for about 36 hours. After a nap I got up and found that it was just Juliet, David and myself left in the house. We reflected on the day and how it all went. For the Kenyan staff they had been more surprised by the cremation than me, for in Kenya everyone is buried, no one is cremated, at least I was used to the concept.
We talked for a while, about the funeral, how it had all happened so fast, what a crazy day it had been but also talked about my future and living here in Kenya. Although I had felt I could have just been in the way during this difficult day, Juliet has said on a number of times it had been good I was around, to help distract a bit from what was going on. On reflection myself I think she was right.
There is so much more to say, and really I must talk about the last couple of days and news about whats happening here in Kenya, the job, house car etc, but really after such an eventful first day, the only important thing is that I was very blessed to have been part of a remarkable occasion, with such a generous and loving couple and witnessing a son work so hard to do the right thing for his father in his last few days. I am sure there will be many more new experiences in the future, maybe not like this one, but I was truly blessed to witness such a beautiful ceremony.
I’ll update more in a couple of days, but I think for now that’s it. In the future the messages won’t be this long, but in some ways I feel I needed to write this down and share what happened.
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