BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHEN IT RAINS.... IT DOESN’T POUR – For a while, all of us in Nairobi were wondering if the rains were not going to come this season, the whole of April passed with hardly a drop, the grass was turning a slightly beige colour and dust was swirling in the air in the form of dust devils. Finally though as May came, so did the rains. Last week it was pretty strong, almost every day. Thankfully the roof of the house is still holding on, but only just. The verendah still seems to leak water in the rain and is generally out of use at the moment and each day its a challenge to keep as much mud off your feet as possible and not drag it into every building and room. When you think about it, in the UK when it rains, the worst you have for walking is on wet pavements and passed puddles, hardly ever is the challenge presented for walking through muddy streets, paths, walk ways etc. On my way to work in the morning the streets are not only busy with cars, but pedestrians walking on the road, the hard tarmac, rather than the swampy mud fields that line the hard surfaced roads. It can be a bit of a game of chicken, or bowling, as you swerve the car passed people, huge puddles which might be secretly hiding a 2 foot pothole which would love to do damage to your car and your spine, and avoiding hitting on coming vehicles. Its not the most fun driving and its hard also to avoid splashing people with dirty brown muddy water. The weird thing last week was that when I got up in the morning it seemed there was not water in the taps, the toilet or the shower. Eventually there would be a trickle out the tap but at this point it was dirty muddy water pouring into the sink. I turned on the water pump for the backup tank and eventually some water would come through the shower, just at the point I had finished bathing in some cold tap water stored in some plastic bottles, at least then I could have a shower to warm up again! This happened over a few days, and I wondered how it could be pouring with rain outside, but not pouring through my water taps, toilet or shower. This is typical Nairobi, we rely on water for electricity, it turns the turbines, we rely on water for the taps etc yet during the rainy season we can get really bad power cuts and shortages of water in the pipes. So sometimes when it rains, it really doesn’t pour.

BAAAAAAAAA – At homegroup on Thursday night the subject came up about Mark’s birthday dinner on Sunday. What present should be bought???? Now Mark is a Welshman and of course the obligatory joke about the perfect present being a sheep for a Welshman would be very funny came up. Questions arose about where could you buy a toy sheep as a joke, or a stuffed teddy like sheep. Eventually as we were getting nowhere Ben piped up half joking, half serious, ‘what if we bought him a real sheep?’. Some in the group couldn’t believe he was serious... I loved the idea, how funny would that be, it would be the most legendary present ever, it would go down in history, and here in Kenya going out to buy a sheep would actually be possible. We discussed it some more and the ideas kept growing. Where could we get it? What would we call it? How could we transport it? Could he keep it at his house? What would his wife think? A plan started to come together. Friday a few of us set to the task of finding a sheep. I spoke to people at work and our accountant told me he had a friend from his church who could help, so Friday morning we set off to Kiserian, into the sheep market and began the process of selecting a sheep. There wasn’t much choice but in the end I picked up a black headed sheep. They tied him up and placed him in the back of my car. James sat in the back keeping an eye on him and we headed back to my house. Now the tricky thing at my house was the dogs... not sure if they would be friends with the sheep or not. We unloaded him, the dogs went beserk and so we had to keep them away. We tied him to a post in the garden, on a very long piece of rope and he set about at mowing my lawn. It was probably the nicest, greenest grass he ever tasted. The staff at the house were initially thinking I had brought a sheep home to be slaughtered and shared around, but I had to disappoint them and said it was for a friend’s birthday. The funny thing is that here buying someone a live sheep is not that strange, certainly in Kenyan culture, so although the expats would think we were crazy, the Kenyans thought it made sense! He munched on the grass Friday and Saturday and slept in the store room over night to avoid being attacked by the dogs. Charles washed him and made him really clean and ready to be presented at lunch on Sunday. Now in the initial discussions we decided we would call the sheep ‘Dolly’ after the infamous cloned sheep from Edinburgh. However there was a slight snag... i forgot to check the sex before we bought it and of course I ended up buying a male sheep. Never mind we stuck with Dolly and my friend Anke spent 5 hours on the Saturday embroidering a name badge for the sheep. Sunday came, and Ben picked up Dolly from my house in his Landrover, as I was at church early to lead worship. We had arranged with the security guard at the church which is held at a private school, to tie the sheep up and look after it during church. So we did church and then a group of us waited for Mark and Sue to head to the restaurant for lunch so we would arrive after them. We loaded Dolly up again in the car and headed to the restaurant which was out of town and near the safari park. As we arrived, we realised to get into the restaurant we would have to cross a rope bridge, just like the one from Indiana Jones, and they would see us crossing the bridge and also perhaps Dolly might not want to cross the bridge in the first place. So as Ben went to bring Mark to the car park with all the other birthday lunch guests, the girls tied ribbons and bows onto Dolly, as I kept him calm. It seemed I was dubbed the Sheep Whisperer as I seemed to have the gift of keeping him calm. I stood behind the Landrover with Dolly and everyone came round. Mark’s face was priceless! Utter shock! Not in a million years did he ever expect such a present. The joke went down very well and everyone saw how funny it was. Both Mark and Su loved it. We tied him to the Landrover to munch on the grass in the car park and the Masaai security guard promised to keep an eye on Dolly. During lunch we discussed what they might do with Dolly, mark was thinking BBQ, but Su was desperate to keep Dolly in the garden. The nicest thing was that Mark said it was a great present and said he would never forget it, he commented that he knows when he is an old man, he will be walking down the street one day and have a little chuckle to himself that one day for his birthday in Africa, a bunch of crazy guys bought him a sheep! Currently Dolly.. whose name is slowly changing to Shaun, is residing in mark’s garden, enjoying the grass and the flowers! We will wait to see if Shaun is kept, sold or eaten... watch this space!

WHEN THE TANKS RAN DRY – Over the Royal wedding weekend, when I took the Friday off and the Monday here was a bank holiday I knew I should have filled up my tank with Petrol! Tuesday came, back at work again but in the evening I was invited to someones house for a good old catch up and some delicious haggis flown in from Scotland. I left the office a little early to head across town and decided to pick up some fuel on the way, as the needle was hitting the red section of the dial and the fuel warning light was flickering on. The first petrol station I stopped at... ‘no fuel’.... no problem, its a common tale here, quite often a station runs out and you just head to the next, so thats exactly what I did, reached the next one... ‘no fuel’... ‘oh ok, no problem’... moving on to the next and of course once again .... ‘ no fuel’.... ‘oooohhhhhhh’. By this point I had crossed Waiyaki Way and was getting closer to my destination but the needle was plummeting down the fuel gauge highway towards oblivion. As I approached each station I realised something was very, very wrong! Each one had cars pulling in and pulling straight out, there was no fuel. I called Juliet to say I was trying to find fuel so would be late, she then told me the attendants at a petrol station had told her there is no fuel in Nairobi!!!! WWWWHHHHAAATTTT!!! No fuel at all? That can’t be true. Thinking I was being smart I headed back to the highway and decided to head up the Naivasha Road, as I knew there would be some petrol stations there and perhaps being on the highway, slightly out of town they would have some left. I was wrong again! I was reaching the point of no return. Do I just head towards the haggis, but run the risk of not getting home later, do I just head home and abandon the haggis or do I try and find a petrol station and then do whatever I want.... I of course took the stupid option of heading further out of town in search of petrol and hoping to be the only guy left in Nairobi with a full tank and a smug grin on my face. As I got further out of town towards Kikuyu town I realised I had made a mistake and I needed to head back.. but being on the highway I couldn’t turn round, with the crash barrier dividing the dual carriageway. I was driving further and further away from home with an ever decreasing fuel tank, panic was beginning to set in. Eventually I reached the Kikuyu turn off, which would give me the option of turning round on the highway and going back the way I came, OR heading into Kikuyu town and taking the back routes home but possibly trying just 1 more petrol station that was a bit more remote. So of course I took the risky option of taking the back routes and of course the petrol station was empty too. Now I had a real dilemma, the fuel gauge was only on the last fractions of red on the dial and I was about 30 mins from home. If I took the left road it would be slightly quicker, BUT I would be going through Kawangware slum and I could hit bad traffic and if I ran out of petrol there it would be dangerous, it was getting closer to 6 o’clock and getting dark, that would be dangerous. If I took the righthand road I would be taking longer to get back but going past Karen and work, so I would know more people in the area if I got stuck. This time I took the safer option and went right. Of course I had made another huge mistake! I cruised along slowly trying to be as fuel efficient as possible and then I came closer to the main roundabout at Karen.... WWWWOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!! Probably the worst traffic jam I have ever seen in Kenya! The whole roundabout was blocked, no traffic moving anywhere! We were on a slight hill coming down to the roundabout and we were not really moving. I decided to switch off the engine to save fuel.... yes yes I know you use a lot of fuel to start the car etc, but I was desperate and wasn’t sure how long we would be sitting so thought it would be best. The traffic moved a little so my plan... take the hand brake off and roll down the hill slowly... another bad idea. The foot brake and steering don’t really work when the engine is not on and without wanting to break my handbrake I was in another dilemma. I sat there and watched as I got closer to the roundabout that perhaps for us coming from our direction turning back into town would not be so bad, as most people were leaving town. However there were cars, buses, lorries everywhere and what would happen if I got stuck in all that and then ran out of fuel? I had another option I could turn round and take a back road to avoid the roundabout but that would require doing about 3 miles through country roads which would be quiet. I decided to keep going, with me checking my petrol gauge now every 10 seconds (and I do not exaggerate), the needle was barely touching red and I was getting closer to the jam from hell. We got to the roundabout, I put the car in 4 wheel drive and a group of us tried to skirt round the edge to take our simple turn left. People were everywhere, mud was everywhere from the rain, cars were getting stuck, my wheels were slipping and I would have to rev hard sometimes to overcome bumps and holes, knowing that each time I was sucking the fumes out of the petrol tank. The car was surrounded by people and cars but we kept edging further. I could see part of the problem, the main road from town had cars everywhere, literally 6 cars wide, covering every part which made it almost impossible for us coming the other way, but this was happening from each side of the roundabout so thats why it blocked. I spotted on the other side of the road the Shell petrol station, it had just received a tanker full of fuel.. I couldn’t believe it.... so close yet there was a 6 car wide jam between me and the petrol station, there would be no way of getting there. I pressed onwards hoping that with some miracle I could make it home. I was perspiring, heart beating, almost shaking with the stress, I had to get through the Ngong forest without breaking down, that would be very dangerous, it was getting very dark now, as we got closer to town the traffic got worse and we hit another traffic jam. What could I do now??? I was desperate and in a very risky position. I realised I would be passing work and finally resigned that I would park the car there and get a taxi home. At least the car would be safe and I would be safe. I pulled back into work, over 2 hours later having left work, with faces full of surprise greeting me at the gate. I called a taxi and after it eventually came I set off on the journey back to my house which normally takes 15 minutes (20 max). An hour and half later I actually made it home!!! Having left work at 4pm I arrived back at my house at 7:45pm! Exhausted, stressed, relieved. We had a few days without fuel in Kenya, I used taxis for 2 days. There seemed to be some arguments between the ONLY supplier who sells to the marketers such as Shell and Total and with the government. Speculation has arisen that the government was blackmailing the petrol guys for bribes to raise money for their 2012 election campaigns... it seems a very real possibility. Now the fuel guys are taking their own back on the government by refusing to tender for the latest fuel tankers docking at Mombasa. The price of fuel has risen and is expected to run out again in a week or so. I’ve stock piled some fuel at my house this time, so I don’t hit the same problem again. It could all get resolved and we don’t run out, but if it does this time I will keep rolling and I will not miss the chance for some haggis again!

A GOOD DAY TO BE BRITISH – Although that certain Friday was no public holiday here in Kenya, I made the personal decision that being a subject of the Queen it would only be responsible and my duty to take the day off and celebrate in her grandsons wedding. It seems I was not the only person to think the same...South Africans, Germans, Kenyans, Britons, infact almost everyone! I did need to go into work in the morning to deal with a few issues, Peter had not been well overnight and so I wanted to get him checked out at the docs. As I passed the childrens home I walked into the hall and found 4 teenage boys glued to the TV screen watching the pre-match... I mean pre-wedding build up. I asked if they knew what was happening... they answered ‘yes’. I asked if they knew who was getting married...’yes of course’... oh ok, so it seemed the kids at the home wanted to watch it as well. After the visit to the docs, we passed by a supermarket and as we walked round, EVERY TV set had the wedding on, even the security camera TV’s and everyone seemed to be keeping an eye on it. Eventually I dropped the boys off back home. I passed my house to see Will’s and Harry get into their car to head to church and I figured if traffic was ok I would make it to David and Juliets in time for the actual wedding... the pressure was on, could I make it to my venue before the bride! I whizzed through town, traffic not busy and arrived just in time to see Kate jump into her car and head to the church. Feet up, lunch ready, we sat and ate a Salmon lunch whilst watching the wedding of the millennium! The chat for the next few days was wedding, wedding, wedding, even with my friends from other countries.. EVERYONE loved it, the Kenyan press was full of it, and for us Brits there was a real sense of patriotism and pride. This is what we do well... pomp and circumstance... everyone agrees, no one does it better! It was the Disney fairytale wedding, and as they talked about 2 billion viewers, being here in Kenya you could see how that was possible. If it was as big as this here then imagine all the other commonwealth countries and beyond how big it would be globally! An awesome day and a really positive vibe. Colonialism may have brought good and bad to Kenya but there is still that sense of connection with Britain that remains. A very good day to be British!

PRESSURE – So the last few weeks things have been developing with Peter, the 13 year old boy I look after who has cancer. Each week on Thursdays we go to the Nairobi Hospice. He has a neuroblastoma tumour on his forehead which is incurable. Each week his tumour grows bigger and bigger, its almost at the size that even hats are struggling to cover it. The tumour is starting to move down by the side of his right eye and causing it to close. His eyesight is now beginning to fail in that side as the tumour causes pressure. He tends to walk around with the hat covering half his face and he keeps his head bowed. I was heartbroken the other week as we sat with doctor and did some counselling. He confessed that the kids who live around his guardians place, where he stays, call him names and laugh at him, they refer to him as ‘Mango Head’, as he told this, tears rolled down his cheeks. The cruelty of children can be unbelievable sometimes, but I know that they are young and don’t understand. What was positive was that he says the kids at Cheryl’s treat him well, don’t tease him and are supportive. As the tumour grows it is increasing pressure on his brain. We went for a CT scan last week and I could finally see the extent the tumour is growing on the inside of his skull and putting huge pressure on his brain. An Oncologist saw the scan and said he was surprised Peter was still able to walk, stating that the pressure on his brain must be immense and that it could start causing paralysis and parts of his body not to function. In a way it seems to be a miracle he is still able to do so much, and for that we are grateful. The hospice was keen for Peter to come back and stay at Cheryl’s because he could get 24 hour care there, a proper bed and be with his friends. They sent a request to the children’s department and we requested permission to bring him back to cheryl’s. The sad thing is the Childrens Department considered the case and then said it was too dangerous to keep him at Cheryl’s saying if he died there we would come under big scrutiny and examination, the police would be involved etc. So they would not allow him to come back and have now said he is not even allowed to be there during the day. It is UNBELIEVABLE!!! The chances of him dying at Cheryl’s are slim, and even if he did, there is plenty of evidence from the doctors etc of why he would pass away. It seems no-one is thinking of what’s in the best interests of the child, just more about covering people’s backs. It is devastating news and I am not sure what to do now. I do know though that in time we will have to consider nursing home care for Peter, especially in his last days, or if he ends up paralysed. I have already been given information on some places and will hopefully check them out soon. We face tough times ahead, and the pressure is increasing on Peter physically and psychologically. Another tumour is now starting to grow on the other side of his head and I can see Peter starting to wonder what’s happening and losing strength and hope. I’m trying to remain strong for Peter and we continue to work hard for him and trying to provide the care he needs.

ANYONE FOR TENNIS? – In an aid to try and get fit and lose a bit of weight I have tried to do some exercise and for me the best way to exercise is to do it when you don’t really even notice you’re doing it, for example playing games. In Edinburgh for me this was always basketball, a game I love to play. The real desire for going was to have fun with some mates and play games, but the great side affect was it helped you to get fit. Unfortunately I can’t seem to find many basketball players here, although there are courts everywhere, so I began to think, hang on, we are in a hot sunny country (well sunny sometimes) and so why not take the advantage and play some tennis. I suck at tennis, those kids who I used to teach at Rydings School in Zimbabwe will testify to this, being beaten by a 12 year old does hurt your feelings a little. Anyways I suggested it to David and Juliet and they too were keen, and also confessed to sucking at tennis too. Perfect! So for the last few weeks we’ve been playing tennis on Wednesday nights at the Muthaiga Club. Its been great fun, and we all seem to be on the same level in terms of ability. We have been improving, so hopefully that will continue. We will wait to see if it is affecting my weight or fitness levels, but at least we are having fun!

BOOKS GALORE! – So I can finally announce that the library is complete. For months we have been working on this and trying to get it finished. There have been numerous problems on the way but we have overcome them. During the Easter holidays I worked with a small group of kids from the high school age down to primary and we set the whole library up. We labelled the books, put them into age groups, reference sections etc and recorded each book on to the computer. For the kids who helped they were very excited to get chance to use a computer and they did a great job of recording the books into an excel document. We worked very hard for a few days and it was finally done. There are many booked (although we can always use more) which the kids can now access for pleasure or for school work. We have a nice carpet down in the room, with a sofa and rug, its the nicest room in the whole of Cheryls and hopefully it will inspire the kids to read more!